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Doctor, doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me.
NEXT!

Doctor, doctor, I keep seeing big pink monsters with purple spots.
Have you seen a psychiatrist?

No, just big pink monsters with purple spots!

Doctor, doctor, people keep thinking I'm an elephant.
Don't be silly, sit down and rest your trunk on my desk.

Doctor, doctor, people keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains.
Oh pull yourself together!

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a bread roll.
Oh stop loafing around!

Doctor, doctor, I feel like an apple.
Come over here, I won't bite you!

Doctor: You need glasses.
Patient: How can you tell?
Doctor: I knew as soon as you walked in through the window!

Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a goat.
How long have you felt like this?

Since I was a kid!

Doctor, doctor, come quickly, my child's swallowed my pen.
I'll come right away, but what are you doing in the meantime?

I'm using a pencil!

Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a bridge.
Now, what's come over you?

Two cars and a bus!